Cup competitions, Sir Alex Ferguson on retirement, and Cheryl Cole's a good person

With the FA Cup quarter finals taking place this weekend, ahead of a crucial European week, it's time to question the relevance of the competition. [Guardian]

Chasing the dream in football's academies. [Telegraph]

Two of Buenos Aires' finest get knocked out of the Libertadores Cup. [Reuters]

While many on the big island may agree with Michel Platini's opinions on the English footy, it may not be fans of the traditional top four. [Times]

European soccer rears its ugly two heads, again. [The Sun]

Harry Redknapp shows off those "man-motivating/management" skills. [Goal]

You'd think the one guy that can use his hands would protect them. [FourFourTwo]

Sir Alex verbalizes Red Devil fans' worst fear. [Sky Sports]

Cheryl Cole takes her hubby's arrest well. [Daily Star]

Rebecca Lowe, Ian Wright's spawn, and David Beckham

Er, yeah . . . how many of these did you make?

While SMiA loves anything footie-related, Rebecca Lowe may be the main reason we tune into Football Matters every week. [Guardian]

Ian Wright Wright Wright has a kid that likes to fight fight fight. [The Sun]

Becks finally sorts out the rest of his Galaxy career. [Daily Mail, Examiner]

Mein Gott! The EPL is getting too big. [Reuters]

Klinsmann feels the heat. [DW]

The original Ronaldo makes his return and takes one to the eye. At least it isn't a penis. [NY Times, Reuters]

Soccer in Somali. [CSM]

When Will Barton's Luck Run Out?

Yes, it is that special time again. No, I'm not talking about the transfer window or the upcoming start of domestic leagues. I'm talking about another round of Joey Barton-bashing.

After receiving a four month suspended sentence (does anyone actually go to jail in the UK?) for his assault on then-teammate Ousmane Dabo during training at Manchester City, Newcastle would seemingly love to off-load the midfielder to Bolton. Wouldn't that be fitting? Joey Barton and Kevin Davies on the same team? Will there be any playing of the ball going on at the Reebok or is it just head-butts, late fouls and the occasional Kevin Nolan "Hang Loose" hand gesture after a goal (5 last year!)?

Most of you know that our Joey is much maligned here in the SMiA offices, but that's no surprise since pretty much everyone except possibly his mother and incarcerated brother think he's a degenerate. The most puzzling thing is the amount of chances this guy gets. We've compiled a partial list of his virtues in the past, and I can't figure out why no one's said, "Right, just toss him in the clink for some real time and see how tough the little shit is". The most insulting thing is that the judge even took the time to try and make JB understand:

"As a professional footballer you are someone who is talented and greatly idolised by young and old alike whether you are playing at Manchester City and now at Newcastle United.

"You are constantly in the public eye. You have a high profile, there would be instances of provocations ... being an idol brings with it responsibilities which you have to carry with you all the time.

"You want to be setting an example, particularly to those who idolise you, particularly youngsters who look up to you."

How about just telling him he's a piece of trash and should go to prison for the maximum? If you can ban a fan from his team's stadium, and if you can ban Eric Cantona for half a season for an errant karate kick, the least you can do is make JB feel it where it hurts for essentially attempting to kill a teammate during training.

To make matters worse, the overrated midfielder is on over $120K/wk. Is this kid worth any money? Is the country so desperate for English talent that it compromises basic human ethics just to get this kid some touches on the ball?

Disgraced footballer Joey Barton escapes jail after pleading guilty to vicious attack on team-mate [Daily Mail]

CCTV of footballer Joey Barton in violent attack [YouTube]

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Defiance In Spain

In an act of petulance, Real Betis has ignored the Spanish FA's competition comittee and scheduled this weekend's match against Barcelona at their home stadium, the Manuel Ruiz de Lopera. As you may recall, this goes against a FA ruling that Betis be penalized with a two match stadium ban after the bottle throwing incident against Athletic Bilbao on March 15th. While on the surface it seems that the club's board is playing word games with the FA, there seems to be a little kernal of precedent on the Seville club's side.

Betis, after the ban was announced, appealed the ruling. But since the FA doesn't get together until Thursday, two days before the scheduled match against Barça, it'll be too late to schedule another venue and get the ticket sale up and running. Last year, when Betis were banned from playing at home for the incident that saw Juande Ramos knocked out during a cup match, the FA failed to confirm the competition committee's ruling until two weeks after the match against Sevilla. Thus, until the FA confirm or deny the stadium ban, the games should go on at Betis' home ground.

While this seems to throw some of the blame for this clusterfuck back at FA for it's archaic meeting schedule, Betis knows it's still in the doghouse. The club is threatening to take it's cause to the streets, organizing a march in support of leniency. After seeing the extent of what happened to the Athletic keeper, I say Betis should shut up, accept their punishment, and breathe a huge sigh of relief that it wasn't worse.

El Betis anuncia que el partido contra el Barcelona será en el Ruiz de Lopera (in Spanish) [Marca]
El Betis quiere manifestarse en la calle como medida de presión (in Spanish) [El País]

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Quote Of The Day

"What's the difference between Derby and Paul Jewell? They go down and they don't come [sic] from behind."











James Richardson, on Paul Jewell's directorial debut during today's Football Weekly podcast. The comment is about a minute in.

Football Weekly Podcast [Guardian Football]
Prem boss in sex video shame [News of the World]

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Not An Isolated Incident

The Spanish FA has decided the bottle throwing episode during the Real Betis v. Athletic Bilbao was not a isolated incident and has imposed a two match stadium ban as well as awarding the three points to Athletic. Betis' president had been calling for leniency after the incident, hoping to play out the game's last 20 minutes at a future date. This was rejected for a number of reasons, one including the fact that the Basque club had already used all three of it's substitutes at the point when keeper Armando Ribeiro was struck down.

According to the head of the FA's competition committee, the punishment for Betis would have been more severe if not for the reaction of the home fans sitting in the section behind Armando's goal. They not only admonished the bottle thrower (center of picture, with hat on), but held on to him as he tried to make his way towards the exits. If not for this "intervention" by the Betis fans, the stadium ban would have been a minimum of four matches, if not more.

Awarding the full three points to Athletic proves rather costly to Betis. While both teams are in a fight to avoid the drop, the result of today's ruling leaves the Seville club even on points (but ahead on goal difference) with the relegation zone. The win propels Athletic to 10th place in la Liga, even on points with Valencia, four points above Betis.

Dos partidos de sanción y tres puntos para el Athletic por el botellazo (in Spanish) [AS]

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Who Makes The Money When Africans Move Abroad?

Well, in this case, it for sure as hell isn't the player. While we've highlighted the business of African player-trafficking in Europe (see here and here), little did I know it exists in Pakistan as well.










Plight of Nigerian footballer highlights player-trafficking in Pakistan [Play The Game]

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The Night In Pictures: Estadio Manuel Ruiz de Lopera Edition

Without the benefit of live pictures on either Sky Sports News or The Fox Soccer Report, I was left with a piqued interest in last night's bottle throwing incident in Seville. While Sky (7pm ET edition) didn't even bother showing the goals from the Real Betis v. Athletic Bilbao match, Fox showed the goals, but failed to show or even mention that Athletic keeper Armando Ribeiro was hit in the face by a bottle thrown from the stands. These screen grabs tell the story:














































































Keep in mind that Betis were given a three match stadium ban a little over a year ago after a similar incident knocked out former Sevilla coach Juande Ramos.

Una botella acaba con el espectáculo (in Spanish) [Marca]
Betis given three-game ground ban [BBC]

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Oh, Ledley . . .

Essex? You've won your first piece of silver in 9 years and you hang out there?

Tottenham celebrate Carling Cup victory with drunken brawl at Essex nightclub [Daily Mail]

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How do you treat a bad personality?

It looks like our favorite anti-social, Joey Barton, won't be turning out for the barcodes anytime soon. Apparently, the Newcastle midfielder needs a bit more work at Sporting Chance, the rehab facility that Tony Adams started. Sporting Chance director Peter Kay confirmed that JB has a lot of work to do at the clinic and patronized Fat Sam's training techniques in the same breath:

"We do not play keepy-up in the garden. We do work of a different nature. I will be appearing with him in court as part of the bail condition."

Silly Peter Kay. Everyone knows they don't play keepy-up at Newcastle's training sessions, opting instead to place Mark Viduka in the box and have the remaining players take turns booting long balls to the Aussie, in between making pomade-runs to maintain Alan Smith's coiffure. In short, no footie for Joey as they try to bleed the asshole out of him.

Sporting Chance Website

Therapist says Joey Barton faces long wait [Daily Telegraph]

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Boys Being (Little) Boys

If any of you watched the Newcastle v. Spurs match on Monday night, you'd be hard-pressed to believe anything Martin Jol says, especially when he claims that he and Bulgarian striker Dimitar Berbatov aren't having problems. Perhaps upset at being named a substitute, DB had to be told three times to warm up before he got off the bench, and slowly at that. Once stretching, he looked to be halfheartedly going through the motions, while displaying a slightly miffed look of boredom on his face.

I could be wrong, reading something on his face that wasn't there, but the normally smooth and graceful striker didn't seem to play with much conviction. And can you blame him? A handful of long balls up to him, all alone up front? Spurs probably played about five minutes of clever soccer, but you can tell that Tottenham's lack of form, a previously-successful manager on his way out, and lack of any defensive shape has gotten the team down. Talk about giving up easily. I understand they miss Ledley King, but with the talent on this squad expectations are far from being met or even sniffed from afar. I used to think it was just a lack of a defense and a dodgy keeper, but with Marcus Bent, Berbatov, Aaron Lennon and the ever-tracking back Robbie Keane, you'd expect a lot more goals to go with all the ones they leak in.

Future so Dim for boss Jol [The Sun]

Mad Jens Lehmann is feeling the cold after being shunned by Arsenal coach Arsene Wenger. After two blunder-filled first matches for the club, Lehmann was pulled for Manuel Almunia, and since then the Spaniard hasn't been bad, giving up only four in ten matches. Lehmann's decided to pressure Wenger in the press, and up until now it's been little digs on Almunia here or there, or an obvious concern over keeping his Germany spot despite not playing between the sticks for his club. Here's the latest from Jens:

"It's possible that some day I'll feel like talking about the whole issue . . . But at the moment I'm just swallowing it all as part of the humiliation. That's something one has to take in. But I think -- and this is aimed at my dear manager -- one shouldn't humiliate players for too long."

I think Lehmann is perhaps one of the best keepers out there, and he's been instrumental in so many instances for Arsenal. But, being with Wenger as long as he has, it seems a bit stupid to go around publicly warning your manager, especially since the gaffer can't seem to do any wrong in the press at the moment (until he drops points to Reading). Listen Jens, you're 37. And a temper mental fool with a pretty high opinion of yourself. Given all that AW's done in the last two years, and all that the squad's lost (Robert Pires, Theirry Henry, Freddie Ljungberg), do you think he really believes he needs you? Just not having you between the sticks means Arsenal won't leak in another set piece goal because you decide to foul an opposing defender, a bigger detriment, in my opinion, than Almunia's lack of trophies.

Lehmann warns Wenger not to 'humiliate' him any longer [Guardian Football]

Can't we all just get along? Players and managers, that is. After being subbed off in the 70th minute of the Merseyside derby, Steven Gerrard has apparently made up with Rafa Benitez:

“I’m a local lad so the derby is really important to me and I would have liked nothing better than to play the full game and to be on the pitch when we got the winner.But as it turned out I was taken off and Lucas Leiva who replaced me played a crucial role in us getting the winning goal.I was hurt and disappointed at being taken off because, like I said, I’m a local lad and the derby means everything to me.”

Nothing of the above smacks of a spoonfed quote. No way, not at all. I'm not psychoanalyst, but the fact that only one short sentence confirms that Rafa's substitution may have been a wise one. The remainder of the quote is simply how much he values the derby because, if you didn't know, he's a local lad. Get over it Stevie. Who do you think you are, Jens Lehmann?

Liverpool’s Rafa Benitez and Steven Gerrard Kiss And Make Up… For Now [Caught Offside]

And finally, what is it with keepers? They're almost as bad as strikers, if not worse. Celtic keeper and Polish international, Artur Boruc, apparently doesn't shake hands with people he doesn't care for. That's a novel idea, if not unrealistic, since the world basically revolves around fake smiles and hollow handshakes. Money quote:

"I felt some pain in my fingers and I was afraid of my tendon, of getting injured . . . But, to be honest with you, I just don't shake hands with people I don't like. There is no obligation to do it."

Well, my fingers hurt, so I couldn't shake hands . . . . but now that you mention it, I'm totally against it. It's almost like he had to convince himself of his feelings (Rangers play too physical) throughout the interview. Can you imagine Lehmann, Boruc and Dida sitting around a table in a pub, lamenting how hard it is to be a keeper?

Boruc: I don't shake hands with people I don't like [Daily Mail]

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Making The Fuhrer Proud

Just when east German clubs were beginning to flex a little muscle, you get a sad story from an U-15 game in Wurzen, a small town in the former communist-East. A little taste:

"We'll build a subway from Chemnitz to Auschwitz"
"Jewish pig, go fuck your Jewish mother"
"Get it right, Jew, or we'll come and pull your foreskin off"

Charming, add some monkey chants and you've got a prefect afternoon at the park. Of course, Germany isn't the only place with the burden of bigotry, it's a troubling fact of life everywhere you go.

Eastern German Clubs Becoming More Competitive [Deutsche Welle]
Severe Anti-Semitism Hits Youth Football in Germany [Der Spiegel]

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George's Boy

Where do you go when you've been caught on film doing blow with two hookers? You go see your mess of a girlfriend in LA, of course.

If only he had some of his dad's athletic ability, then that would be a story.

Blohan Can Really Pick Em [Dlisted]
Will arrest be wakeup call for Lindsay Lohan? [MSNBC]

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Smile, And Listen Carefully, You're On Closed-Circuit TV

After last night's rumblefest in Rome, you can hardly blame governments for setting up security cameras everywhere. But to admonish you for not throwing away your trash? What's next, a person miles away in a control room telling you to pay more attention because you're pissing on the toilet seat?





Orwell to turn over in grave, BBC reports [Passport]

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How do they celebrate when they win?

Arsenal midfielder Tomas Rosicky celebrated his team's loss to Germany on Saturday by entertaining a few hookers at the Praha Hotel in Prague. No word on whether the Czech international had any success shooting in the box, but there are some conflicting reports surrounding the role of Chelsea's man between the sticks (seriously, no pun intended here) Petr Cech at the party.

[The Sun, The Spoof]

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