The Grab Bag: Tuesday

While Serie A is reeling from revelations of Inter's hands in phone-tapping that culminated in, among many things, Juve being relegated to Serie B, we've got all the crucial news you need to know.

Peter Crouch's home was burgled during Liverpool's Champions League match with Galatasary. Which makes me wonder, since millions know where you are during a game, I guess the conventional lamps on a timer, and fake pitbull barking CD didn't do much to repel the villians that made off with, presumably, a big and tall wardrobe. Anyone think it's his crazy girlfriend, Abby? Either way, the criminals were prepared, as they probably had to bring a ladder in to reach the doorknob. Get it? Crouchy's tall. Oh, forget it. [ICI Wales, Anorak]

Raymond Domenech continues to annoy top-flight managers, while struggling to push France throught the Euro 2008 qualifies, this time pissing off Gerrard Houllier at Lyon. It's the Euros, Gerrard!!! The most important tournament after the World Cup, Champions League, domestic campaigns, domestic cups and nearly almost every five-a-side Sunday game, for chrissakes. And you call yourself French? In other Euro news, Jose Antonio Reyes and Fabio Grosso, and some other people are out for this round of qualifiers. [Guardian Unlimited, UEFA]

Aston Villa's pursuit of a Premiership title gained a massive advantage today, when they signed 33-year old Chris Sutton. O'Neill is purging the ex-Celtic player cupboard in building his team, which has done surprisingly well, considering they're Aston Villa. Is this a foreshadowing of the massive coffers Randy Lerner's going to unveil to O'Neill in the January transfer window? You know, Villa fans, Lerner's Browns suck. And they pretty much sucked since he's been there. Unless he holds his Anglophilia higher than the NFL (which doesn't make financial sense), expect the same from Villa going forward, albeit without the frustration of actually paying David O'Leary. [BBC Sport, Deadspin]

Marco Van Basten attempts to forge a reputation in management just as Sir Alex Ferguson has. No boots have flown in the Dutch dressing room, but he's done well to alienate Ruud van Nistelrooy and (oh no!) Mark van Bommel. Speaking of Fergie, Man United is making a play for Fernando Torres, which means the Red Devils' pomade expenses should rise meteorically with the Spainard and Cristiano Ronaldo on the squad. [Ireland Online, IOL]

-bl