I normally like to disguise the news I steal from the internet and television, but today I feel it is appropriate to cut and directly paste from The Fiver, a biting and always funny tea-time (around 6 am EST) newsletter you can have sent to your inbox with loving care by The Guardian.
For those who don't know of The Fiver, get on the email list immediately. Trust me, it won't interfere with your daily spam, Nigerian scam emails and miscellaneous porn your buddies send to you as they waste time in their cubicles. In short, this shit is funny. Here's an excerpt from today:
"United have nothing in midfield - they are a shambles. Any decent sides they meet will destroy them" - RTE pundit Eamon Dunphy offers his considered opinion of the MU Rowdies' midfield last night.
"Ferdinand is a clown. He was a liability for the first goal and he is always a liability. It was Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink against Rio Ferdinand of Barclays Bank" - RTE pundit Eamon Dunphy offers his considered opinion of Rio Ferdinand's ability last night.
"Carrick was signed for Spurs a few years back for £3m. That's the level he is at. He is a nothing player. He is one-paced. He doesn't have the personality to always get on the ball like a Rowdies player should" -RTE pundit Eamon Dunphy offers his considered opinion of Michael Carrick last night.Now this is a man who touched my heart after I heard he had called Harry Kewell "A clown. A fat clown for all to see" during the season last year, and he used to be known as a biographer, namely of "The Unforgettable Fire: The Story of U2", which the band apparently did not care for, and he also ghost-wrote Roy Keane's autobiography in 2002.
If you're lucky enough to get RTE (Radio Telefis Eireann), Ireland's public broadcast channel, you can see him spew melodramatic vitrol and hyperbole. As much as he is an ass, wouldn't most pundit/review shows be more enjoyable if we had more like him?
The Sao Paulo state proscuter, as well as the Brazilian intelligence agency, the aptly named Agencia Brasileira de Inteligencia, have investigated claims that MSI, the sports investment company that bought a stake in Corinthians, is more or less a money-laundering scheme for Russian oligarch Boris Berezovsky.
Inquiry into company behind West Ham deal [Guardian]
The Roman Mourinho of Hearts [BBC Sport]
I know some of you out there care [UEFA]
Sexy, oui? [Eat Football]